Wedding, baby, wish lists, new house, everything under the sun, but no adoption registry.
Some may be getting a baby. So you can use that. What about those of us adopting older children?
We don’t have showers. We have bake sales. No registering for items you need. We have fundraisers to help bring these children home.
So, I am starting a “baby registry”. That will have things that do not go on a baby registry. We are adopting a 15yo, 4yo, and a 3yo. Our youngest bio is 10. So we need two FAA approved 5point booster seats to fly them home with. We need beds since we are going from 3 children to 6. Those beds need sheets. We need clothes! Lots of clothes! I have some clothes from my youngest, but it will be years before the newest can wear them. I have only one girl, so there haven’t been any clothes saved as hand me downs. And we are adopting a girl that is 2.5 years older than our bio daughter.
So, maybe I will contact these online retailers! Ask them for inclusion. After all, they are new additions to our family and should have gifts and a party too! Maybe I’m being selfish for them. Maybe I’m being selfish for all of us adoptive parents that struggle to meet financial goals and apply for grants, host parties, bake cookies until they can’t stand the smell of flour!
All we need is support. Not financially. Although that helps. But that friend that says, “hey let me do this for you!” That’s what we need. The friends that say “they are doing a wonderful thing,” when other “friends” are questioning your decisions.
I LOVE my friends that have told me I am crazy, given me a hug, and told me that they will help me in any way they can!
I love the new friends I have made on this adoption journey! They are and will always be forever in my heart!
Wedding, baby, wish lists, new house, everything under the sun, but no adoption registry.
The days are getting shorter but they feel like they are dragging!
In just over 1 month, we will have our D here at home for the first time! We will get to love on her and let her know that she is special.
We still have some money to raise for hosting, but we will have that covered.
Now we are working to raise money for our home study, adoption costs, Skymiles, and the length of time we will need to stay in EE.
I pray that the courts move quickly and we have all three of our EE children home for next Christmas!!!
I figured that I would have met my goal first goal, that was due on Oct 15, but I am $330 short!Donate
I have to raise this money by Monday to purchase her plane ticket. I have another goal, which is the balance due of $1300, that is due on November 15.
I have three fundraiser that I am running to get that money. They are below. If you can help with our plane ticket, please use the tax deductible donate link. If you want to help us with the second, please place an order at one of the follow links
Use code Doran-Adopttogether
I know many people that will not agree with many of the choices I make. However, they are my choices. A recent status update about taking my children to church for Halloween and not having to waste money on costumes, was taken out of context as a direct slight towards someone that is going to a costume party.
She stated it was not a waste of money if you are having fun. Ok. So let’s say I am at the slots and have spent $5000, and nothing to show for it. Well, I was having fun! Was it a waste of money? Absolutely! But I was having fun! Until I realized I spent $5000 and have nothing to show for it.
So, if I spend $100 on costumes that will be worn for 2 hours and outgrown next year, can I not assume it was a waste of money? What do we have to show for that money spent? Memories? Maybe. Could I have done something else amazing with that $100? Like for instance buy groceries. Or apply it to the balances we have with our adoption companies. Donate it to our hosting organization.
Whatever I choose to do with our money is my choice. Just like whatever you choose to spend money on is your choice. Everyone has their own definition on what is important. I don’t think Halloween is.
But if your little Vaders, Dr. Whos, Tardises, Leah’s, TMNTs are having fun and you are having fun watching them, it is not a waste for you.
My only issue is don’t use me as your outlet for the guilt you feel because we are not the friends we once were. It is not my fault that you do not agree with my decisions or what I deem important enough to spend my money on.
As you are aware, we are hosting from EE for the second time this year. The hosting program is one that takes its responsibility very seriously! The manual for hosting is very thorough and complete. Listing all the specific countries’ rules for hosting, social media posting, blogging, and public fundraising. We fill out forms for criminal background checks, have home safety inspections and have to provide references.
Apparently there are organizations here in the states that want hosting programs to stop. Many children that go through the hosting programs go on to be adopted by either the host family or a family friend. Thus giving this child in the system a home and loving family. Most of the children that participate are on the verge of aging out of their system. They will become un-adoptable at the age of 16. Unlike here in the states where you can adopt anyone at any age that you want to.
The opposition is constantly prowling and trolling sites looking for anyone new to the program who may unintentionally break one of the posting rules. They then contact the host country and inform them that we(hosts and the program) are putting the children’s lives at risk.
Seriously!! We do everything we can to protect these children before, during, and after the program. They are, in our hearts and minds, our responsibility. We fall in love with the face of a child that has a huge smile but loss and confusion in their eyes. We plan where they will sleep, what we will do, backup plans, food ideas, you name it, we think about it. It is very much like the nesting we ladies do in our last trimester, getting all the details, no matter how minute, ready. A plan!
They arrive, sometimes scared out of their wits, having flown 14+ hours for the first time ever. Some not knowing how to speak the language of the host family. But we plan for that! We have barf bags in the car for the ride home because maybe they have never ridden in a car. We hug and secretly scan for any signs of lice(which is so prevalent in institutional homes not to mention crowded airplanes with other children from other homes.) If you are hosting a teen girl you know that she will most likely have her period while she is here, another plan!
Why would anyone think we are endangering the lives of these children? Organizations that make money off them staying in institutions. Organizations that collect money on behalf of the multitude of orphans across the globe, but whose board of directors salaries rival those of Google.
We have a support group for new hosters where silly questions get answers and concerns are met with prayer and knowledge of the program. Where families can share their trials and their accomplishments while their “child” is here. Where virtual shoulders soak up tears after “our children” have to return to the country that we signed a legal document to return them to.
It is a blessing to touch the life of a child and make a POSITIVE impact on their future. There is no greater calling, parenthood. Family. Church. All children of God called to take care of each other. Some of us are just more willing to jump off the cliff into the dark waters, with Faith that He will clear the path and light the way.
So, I received an email today from the orphan court. Apparently, the interview team had it wrong. My “girls” are actually two girls and a boy!
So we will have total balance in the house!
Oh my gosh, we will be the Brady Bunch!
The countdown to meeting our D is just weeks!! We are so excited. This is just the beginning of our journey and there are lots of steps.
We have to get our home Study completed: $1500
Our Adoption Agency has about $10,000 in fees
The Country has about $10,000 in fees
Our country has about $1500 in immigration fees.
We have our first trip over seas that will be determined by their court, lasting anywhere from 2-4 WEEKS! So with Airfare, lodging, and food for 5 $10,000
Second trip: $3500
While the amount is so high, I believe God will provide the necessary connections, funds, and grants that we need to bring home 3 little girls that need a family.
I have called to “walk upon the water”, trusting that God will keep us safe and provide our needs. I have that faith. My eyes are on you Lord!
Please visit my post on donating if you feel led to help us out!
I sit on a bench and watch my younger children play at the park. Enjoying the sunshine and playing with kids that they do not even know.
I wonder what my other girls are doing right now. 6 hour time difference, so maybe sitting down to dinner. I hope that D had a good day at school and that their foster mother had time to play with the toddlers.
We are at a standstill with paperwork. Home inspection is on hold until we get word from our attorney about a traffic court issue.
I get sad and worried that we may not get things done in time. That we might lose our precious girls while the court system here takes it’s time getting around to setting a court date.
In the meantime, I am excited that D gets to spend Christmas with us.
My daughter and I have set up a shopping list on IKEA for bedroom furniture. Since we will go from having 3 children to having 6, a little rearranging is in order.
Our fundraising is going poorly and we cannot apply for grants until our home study is complete.
I know they have to make sure that kids are going to a safe home, but why do governments feel the need to charge so much for the process and paperwork.
Our donation site is live and our hosting deadlines are 10/15 and 11/15 if you feel the urge to give. Please feel free to share my link on FB or Twitter if you know anyone willing and able to donate. Thank you and God Bless you!
As I am preparing to welcome a foster child into my home from Eastern Europe, I see “friends” post about how the need is so great here and if you are going to foster or adopt you need to “do it in your own country.” No mention of me personally, however I am the only one in the “circle of women” that has mentioned inviting a child into my home with the plan of adopting her and her siblings in the future.
Yes there is a need here in the States, but does that mean that we are to ignore the hundreds of thousands of children worldwide that do not have families.
I don’t remember James saying that we are to take care of widows and orphans, but only if they live in your country.
Why does this bother me? These women were my friends. They obviously now spend an awful lot of time discussing me and my choices.
Am I in any way deterred from what I feel like God has called us to do? No! It just furthers my resolve. I do not need their support, although as my friends I sort of expected the “you are crazy, but we love you” support. Not the unilateral attack on my decision to adopt internationally instead of domestically.
He know the plans that He has for me. And if it is His will that I adopt domestically, he will close these doors that have opened for us and open new ones. Until then, we proceed with our uphill climb to the open door and the girls that are waiting for our family there.
So, today we told our youngest son that we were planning on adopting three girls from Eastern Europe. When I had all three children in the living room, we discussed living arrangements when we have 6 children in our 4 bedroom home. They have it all worked out.
I get to build two sets of bunks for the girls rooms, upstairs. Should be interesting, but it’s not like we don’t have time. Then, I get to build a “bed/couch/room” for my oldest in our basement. While the youngest will get the oldest’s room. Boys downstairs and girls upstairs.
I am thinking that I may have to con some of my carpenter friends into helping with said building projects. And soliciting some wood from a local lumber company. Next would be getting the batting and fabric to cover the oldest’s bed frame and making very large pillows so it can be used as a couch while not being slept on. I have a friend that may help with that one! I hope!!!
A little light on my day!