So we attended the wedding of my stepdaughter this weekend. It was a beautiful, though long, service. She was glowing and I was crying happy tears as I remembered her growing up and when she began dating her now husband. Ours is a different situation. We were not there being civil and polite to the mother of the bride and her husband, our daughter was adopted by her grandparents, my in-laws, when my husband was in college. Her mother was not in the picture and while my husband was away at school, they worried that she might show up and just take her. So they did what needed to be done to protect and provide for his daughter, their granddaughter.
When her mother was pregnant with her, at 15, my husband 17, they did what my mother-in-law told them they had to do; attend adoption classes. They had been to classes, met with church officials, and everything was set to give her up for adoption.
When she was born, they both decided that they could not do it. Neither of their parents were there. They wanted nothing to do with this new blessing.
Fast forward-They are now called Mom and Dad, although she knows that my husband is her father and she calls him Daddy. She had them both walk her down the aisle.
We have been together for 18.5 years. Married for 16. We have 3 children and are looking to add to that through adoption. So, my husband has 4 children. She has 2 brothers and a sister. Legally, she has a brother and sister(her aunt and uncle) and they refer to her as their sister. Their children call her Aunt. It makes for a confusing situation when we are all together. I think that is why us being there caused my MIL so much stress.
At rehearsal, my daughter overheard my MIL tell the coordinator that we, her father and I along with her siblings, were not to sit in the “family” pews. Ok, I can deal with that. Then, when I finally get there after having to walk 6 blocks in killer heels, I find myself sitting behind my brother-in-law’s in-laws. Seriously. We rank lower than they do. But I easily forget that as the service begins and I see my lovely daughter being walked down the aisle by two of the greatest men I have known.
At the reception, my husband does not even rank an introduction. During the slideshow of pictures showing the bride and groom as they have grown up, there were very few with my husband and none with me. In fact, I was cropped out of a photo.
I love my father-in-law, I love my new family through my new son-in-law(who, might I add, had absolutely no problem introducing us as such). I am done with people who are more concerned with appearance than truth, no matter how ugly it might be. It is times like these that make it hard to follow Jesus and show love to all. Especially those that don’t deserve it.